Gambling quotes

Gambling Quotes: The Best Quotes on Gambling

In the thousands of years that human beings have been gambling, there have been more than a few quotes that have stood the test of time. Some quotes are insightful, others are funny, and still more just make you think about gambling in ways you may not have before.

Here's a quick look at some of the greatest quotes ever said (or written) about gambling.

Eat your betting money but don't bet your eating money. –Unknown

This clever wordplay actually has importance even today, where it's a mainstay of professional gamblers around the world. The idea is simple: it's fine and good to spend the money you win from gambling, but you shouldn't be taking the money you need to live and gambling with it.

Dice

The best throw of the dice is to throw them away. –Unknown

This is certainly a quote that most non-gamblers would agree with, and one that applies to more than just gambling. The idea is that leaving your fate to change is always a risk, and it's usually better just not to go down that route at all. Of course, there's always the more famous "nothing ventured, nothing gained," which better reflects the way gamblers look at the chance to throw the dice!

In a bet, there is a fool and a thief.

This is a rather harsh way of describing almost ever bet ever made – but in a manner of speaking, it's also correct. Unless a bet is 100% fair and even on both sides (such as two people betting the same amount of money on a coin flip), one person – the thief – is going to have an edge, while the other player expects to lose money, and is playing the part of the fool. Of course, if you go in knowing the odds are against you but you know you're having fun, it's hard to call you a fool in any sense of the word.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. –Mark Twain (1835-1910)

It's always sweeter to make a dollar on a great bet than to earn one after a hard day's work. Maybe it's because we didn't work for it, so it feels like easy money. By the way, if you're wondering what "Faro" is, it's a card game that was very popular in the 1800s, until it was later surpassed by poker.

Kin Hubbard

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. –Kin Hubbard (1868-1930)

The humorist Kin Hubbard makes the point that we shouldn't count on gambling – or any other unsure investment – to double our money for us without exposing us to some risk at the same time. It might happen, but we could also lose it all. On the other hand, folding those bills will surely make your wallet look a little fatter (though this doesn't work quite as well with coins).

The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius. –Julius Weintraub (1919-1997)

If casinos asked people to put cash on the table every time they wanted to make a bet, they'd make a lot less money. But turn that cash into chips, and suddenly it's a whole lot easier to push them into the pot or bet them at the roulette table. This chip isn't just a scheme to part you from your money, though: it also makes it much easier to keep games organized, and chips are much more durable than paper money, which could easily be damaged if it were constantly being passed around the table.

A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It's usually three or more times. –Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy

Terry Murphy has written a lot about gambling over the years, but few of his quotes are more insightful than this one. We probably all know gamblers who make the same mistakes again and again for years on end, and a lot of them even consider themselves experts on the games they play! Of course, this doesn't have to be your fate: there's more than enough strategic information out there to make sure you're playing your games of choice the right way.

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle. –Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

Will Rogers

You know, horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. –Will Rogers (1879-1935)

These two quotes from great comedians of their time are two of the funniest gambling jokes around, and they're both great examples of the styles of the men who said them. Hedberg had an extremely dry sense of humor, and always took his jokes in an unexpected direction that was sure to get laughs. Meanwhile, Rogers took a more direct approach, but that makes his play on words no less amusing.

If there weren't luck involved, I would win every time. –Phil Hellmuth

If you've ever listened to Phil Hellmuth talk, you know that we could easily fill an entire page with quotes by the "Poker Brat." But we chose this one because it's both amusing and instructive. In a way, Phil might be right – if it weren't for luck, skilled players would always beat less skilled opponents. But then, why would the opponents play at all? The mix of skill and luck is what makes poker and many other gambling games so fascinating, and what keeps players coming back for more.